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12 Halloween costumes for robot vacuum cleaners absolutely no one asked for


Happy Covidween AP readers. Holidays during pandemics, as we’ve all now discovered, are kind of lousy. The only real advantage that Halloween has over other holidays is that at least today just about everyone should be on board with wearing masks… of one sort or another. As I contemplated the lameness of an impending holiday at home with just the family, when we normally host a costume party with friends, an idea occurred to me. If I couldn’t have friends come over in costumes, why not dress up some little robots and have a party with them? (That was not even top 10 strangest idea I had that day in case you were wondering.)

Well, after I had that glorious idea I reached out to my buddy Dan at Roborock, and asked if the company would be willing to send me a couple of clean and pristine units so I could play robot dress-up. Rather surprisingly, he said yes (confidence is powerful persuader my friends). The vacuums almost didn’t arrive in time, but finally, yesterday afternoon, I received a shiny black Roborock S6 MaxV and a gleaming white S6 Pure in the mail (yeah, Roborock definitely earned that plug the hard way). I stayed up late last night in my office, like Dr. Frankenstein, bringing these little suckers to life. Now I share them vith the vorld! (I know, that’s a Dracula accent, not a Frankenstein one, but it’s still got that Halloween vibe, so it’s cool.)

Oh, one more thing before you see my creations, I, uh,  didn’t bother to ask Artem, the site owner, for approval of this article, but I’m sure he’ll love it. (Pretty sure. Maybe. 3/10) Just in case he doesn’t, if you like this kind of random weird stuff in your news feed, please feel free to say so in the comments below. Please. (I need to keep this job.)

Now, my homebound Halloween friends, grab yourself a bucket of Kit Kats and enjoy the Roborock Costuum Parade. (No, that wasn’t a typo Rita, I spelled it that way on purpose, because it’s like vacuum, get it?)

A dark shadowy figure rolls up behind an unsuck-specting damsel in distress…

“Your suction force is no match for mine.”

Boew Woew Woew… Chhhhchchchchh (That’s a rattle snake.) There’s a new Sheriff in town, and he’s going to clean up this place.

Your browser isn’t the only one who deserves an incognito mode to forget your filthy ways.

“He’s a bit slow, but he’s got a nice smile.”

Poor little vacunicorn has seen some messes he’d like to forget.

He’s not a wingaling dragon, but he’s certainly cleanaling one. 

What happens when you dress Roborocks in Mascarade costumes? They have a ball.

PLOT TWIST! This is 2020, ain’t no more damsels in distress! 

Alright, that was weird. I hope it was your kind of weird too. Take care of yourselves out there. One more thing, since I’m already risking Artem’s ire, if you enjoyed my particularly dorky brand of humor, you can find lots more of it in my game Cover Your Kingdom. It’s almost as fun as playing robot dress up. Almost. Oh, and another one more thing, thanks again Roborock (and no, in case you are wondering they very obviously did not pay for this “special” attention) for sending me vacuums to have a Halloween party with, you guys really… are great (rock would have been too much of a low hanging fruit).

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